Captain Redneck's Movie Reviews

The Expendables

2010-08-16T19:50:00.000-04:00

The A-Team

2010-06-15T20:16:00.001-04:00

Robin Hood

2010-05-21T21:35:00.001-04:00

Clash of the Titans

2010-04-26T18:21:00.004-04:00

3rd Annual Captain Redneck's Movie Awards

2010-01-29T11:28:00.003-05:00

Best Action Movie of 2009:
Terminator Salvation
Runner up:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Best Super Hero Movie of 2009:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Runner Up:
Watchmen

Best Thriller of 2009:
The Taking of Pelham 123
Runner Up:
Angels and Demons

Biggest Surprise of 2009:
Friday the 13th
Runner Up:
Up

Best Spacial Effects:
Avatar
Runners Up:
Terminator Salvation
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Most Disappointing Movie of 2009:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Worst Spacial Effects:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Runner Up:
The Final Destination

Worst Thriller of 2009:
The Final Destination

Worst Action Movie of 2009:
Dragonball: Evolution
Runner Up:
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Worst Movie of 2009:
Dragonball: Evolution
Runners Up:
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
The Final Destination

Best Movie of 2009:
Terminator Salvation
Runners Up:
Avatar
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Avatar

2009-12-31T10:04:00.001-05:00

The Final Destination

2009-08-31T22:27:00.002-04:00

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

2009-07-11T11:02:00.001-04:00

The Taking of Pelham 123

2009-06-29T10:49:00.000-04:00

Terminator Salvation

2009-06-13T22:39:00.001-04:00

Angels and Demons

2009-06-04T22:30:00.001-04:00

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Review

2009-05-08T22:13:00.000-04:00

Dragonball: Evolution Review

2009-05-08T22:12:00.000-04:00

Watchmen

2009-03-19T16:51:00.000-04:00

Friday the 13th

2009-03-05T19:32:00.000-05:00

The Day the Earth Stood Still

2009-01-06T16:17:00.002-05:00

Transporter 3

2009-01-06T16:17:00.001-05:00

2nd Annual Captain Redneck's Movie Awards

2009-01-02T15:08:00.000-05:00

Its awards season again. That means it's time for the 2nd Annual Captain Redneck's Movie Awards.

Best Action Movie of 2008
Quantum of Solace
Runner up
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Best Superhero Movie of 2008
The Dark Knight
Runners up
Iron Man
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Best Thriller of 2008
Body of Lies
Runner up
Quantum of Solace

Biggest Surprise of 2008
The Incredible Hulk
Runner Up
10,000 BC

Best Spacial Effects
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Runners up
The Dark Knight
Quantum of Solace

Most Disappointing Movie of 2008
The Forbidden Kingdom
Runner up
21

Worst Spacial Effects
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Runner up
Transporter 3

Worst Thriller of 2008
The Happening

Worst Action Movie of 2008
Transporter 3

Worst Movie of 2008
The Happening
Runners up
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Transporter 3

Best Movie of 2008
The Dark Knight
Runners up
Iron Man
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Quantum of Solace

2008-12-02T09:25:00.000-05:00

Body of Lies

2008-10-22T15:09:00.001-04:00

The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

2008-08-27T16:00:00.001-04:00

The Dark Knight

2008-08-11T17:54:00.002-04:00

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

2008-07-21T16:48:00.000-04:00

The Incredible Hulk

2008-07-18T21:11:00.001-04:00

The Happening

2008-06-21T10:42:00.001-04:00

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008-05-30T14:38:00.000-04:00

Iron Man

2008-05-17T08:37:00.000-04:00

Superhero movies have become very popular recently. While some of these movies were good, others were horrible. Iron Man is one the best superhero movies I've seen in years.

Pros: At first I didn't think that Robert Downey Jr. could play the role of Tony Stark, but after seeing the movie I realized that he's perfect. Downey has and a lot of problems in the past, but he picked the perfect role to revive his acting career. The other actors portray their characters with perfection.

The other thing I like about the movie was the effects. I especially enjoyed the scenes where Tony tests out the Iron Man suit. In one scene Iron Man is attacked by military jets and destroys one of them. I also liked watching the fight at the end of the movie.

The plot has enough twists to keep from becoming too predictable. It's hard to tell who the real villain is, and when I fond out who it was I was surprised.

Cons: It's hard to find anything wrong with this movie. While the plot does have plenty of twists, its also really confusing. How can Stark survive after he's been hit in the heart by a piece of shrapnel from one of his company's bombs. He also manages to create a capsule to replace his heart and a prototype of the Iron Man suit in a cave, and somehow manages to escape from the terrorists.

It's hard to believe that anyone could survive what happened to Tony, or have the ability to create a capsule that could keep them alive. That's the only part of the plot that confuses me.

Final Verdict: While the Iron Man movie isn't as good as Batman Begins, and X-Men 3: The Last Stand, but it's much better than The Hulk, and Batman and Robin. It has a great cast, excellent effects, and a decent, but confusing plot. The plot is the only thing that keeps Iron Man from getting a perfect score. If you like superhero movies, then you'll enjoy Iron Man. I can't wait to see the sequel.

Scores (Out of 10):
Story: 7.9
Acting: 8.0
Direction: 8.4
Visuals: 9.0

Final Score (Out of 10):
8.3

How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

This year so far (Scores out of 10):
10,000 B.C. 8.0
21 5.1
The Forbidden Kingdom 6.0

The Forbidden Kingdom

2008-05-08T06:13:00.000-04:00

The Forbidden Kingdom has the best visual effects of any movie I've this year so far. The other cool thing about the movie is that it stars Jackie Chan and Jet Li. Unfortunately, neither of them is the main character, and the story doesn't make any sense.

Pros : The visual effects are very impressive especially during the fights. They remind of other kung fu movies I've seen such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and fantasy epics such as the Lord of the Ring trilogy . Jakie Chan and Jet Li are the best actors in the movie, and show why they are two of the best martial arts experts in Hollywood. It's a shame that they haven't been in the same movie until now. It's also a shame that neither Chan or Li is the main character, and their in a movie with a really confusing plot.

Cons: The movie's protagonist is a teenager from Boston named Jason who steals a staff from a Chinese pawnshop, and somehow ends up in ancient China. There he meets a drunk man named Lu Yan who is played by Chan tells him the story of the Monkey King. During the battle with the Jade Warlord the Monkey King turned to stone, and his staff was magically transported to Boston 500 years in the future. Since Jason has the staff he must give it to the Monkey King.

On their journey to the Jade Warlord's palace Lu fights a monk played by Li. The monk stole the staff, and Lu wants it back. After the fight they decide to join forces and defeat the Jade Warlord's army, but first they have to teach Jason how to fight. Cue the training montage!

After a battle with the Jade Warlord's minions Lu is struck by an arrow. The only way he can be saved is by drinking the elixer of the immortals. I'm not going to tell you how the movie ends, but I can tell you that its very predictable.

Final Verdict: The Forbidden Kingdom had the potential to be a great movie. Unfortunately, the plot and main character keep it from being just that. It's a shame that Jackie Chan's and Jet Li's talents were wasted in this movie.

Scores (Out of 10) :

Story: 5.6
Acting: 5.0
Direction: 5.4
Visuals: 8.0

Final Score (Out of 10):
6.0

How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

This year so far (Scores out of 10):
10,000 B.C. 8.0
21 5.1

21

2008-04-20T14:28:00.000-04:00

Ben Campbell is a math wiz. He only problem is that he needs $300,000 in order to attend Harvard Medical School, and he doesn't have the money. One of his professors wants to change Ben's luck by inviting he to join a group of MIT geniuses as they learn how to play blackjack, and rack in the cash. Unfortunately, the plan backfires, and so does the movie's chances of being more than a morality tale.

Pros: 21 does a good job of showing people what can happen when you gamble too much. You can lose no only your money, but you can also lose your friends. That's what happens to Ben. He also gets beaten up by casino security guard Cole Williams, after he's betrayed by his professor Mickey Rosa. At first its hard to tell if Cole or Mickey is the villain, but it becomes clearer towards the end of the movie. That's the one thing I like about the plot, it keeps you guessing what's going to happen next.

Cons: One of the movie's biggest flaws is that it makes gambling look cool, in spite of the fact that you can also become broke and lose everything you have. It also makes seem like its easy to beat the house, but in reality it isn't. Another problem is the acting. The duologue is awful, despite the fact that it was edited by three people. If you don't believe men watch the credits at the end of the movie and see for yourselves.

Final Verdict: When I saw the trailers for 21 I thought it would be good, but its nothing more than a morality tale about the dangers of gambling. After seeing the movie, I couldn't help but wonder if all casinos in Vegas have a room in the basement when anyone caught cheating is tied to a chair, and beaten up by security guards. If that's true then I'm never gambling in Vegas. Watching 21 is gamble nobody should take.

Scores (Out of 10):
Story: 5.5
Acting: 5.0
Direction: 4.6
Visuals: 5.3

Final Score (Out of 10):
5.1

How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

This year so far (Scores out of 10):
10,000 B.C. 8.0

10,000 B.C.

2008-03-18T21:57:00.000-04:00

10,000 B.C. isn't as bad as some critics say it is. The movie does have some flaws, but it manages to overcome them.

Pros: Like 300 and the Lord of Rings trilogy it has stunning visuals, effects and locations that make viewers feel like they're part of the action. The mammoths, saber-tooth tigers, giant birds, and other creatures look extremely realistic. 10,000 B.C. clearly shows how CGI technology has evolved over the last decade. Some of the movie was shot in New Zealand, and some parts like the ones shot in the mountains reminded me of scenes from the Lord of Rings movies. However, the visuals, effects, and locations don't completely make up for the bad plot and dialogue.

Cons : 10,000 B.C. has one of the most cliched plots in movie history. A young blue eyed girl has managed to escape from slave traders. When Old Mother sees her, she has a vision of the future. In her vision Old Mother sees the slave traders coming to the village and capturing the girl and some of the men. This ominous event will occur after the last hunt. Eventually, Old Mother's vision comes true, and D'Leh and a few of the hunters from the tribe set out to save those who were taken by the villains. Along the way the warriors meet an African tribe, and are told of a prophecy in which a person with the ability to talk to saber-toothed tigers will lead an army to victory. I have no idea why the African tribes waited so long to fight the slave traders, and the Egyptian like civilization that uses slaves and Mammoths to build pyramids.

The dialogue isn't much better. It's extremely corny. I'm not sure if pre-history humans spoke English, or any other language that exits today.

Final Verdict: Despite the cliched plot and awful dialogue, 10,000 B.C. isn't as bad as some of the critics say it is. The incredible visuals, effects and locations help this movie to overcome its flaws. 10,000 B.C. have violence, but it doesn't have any blood, or gore like 300. If you're a fan of epic movies, then you'll enjoy 10,000 B.C.

Scores (Out of 10):
Story: 6.7
Acting: 6.5
Direction: 9.0
Visuals: 9.8

Final Score (Out of 10) :
8.0

How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

2008 Summer Movie Preview

2008-02-17T11:18:00.001-05:00

May
2nd
Iron Man*
Made of Honor
Son of Rainbow
3rd
Savage Grace
9th
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
Frontiers (limited)
Speed Racer
Surfwise (limited)
What Happens in Vegas
16th
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Midnight Meat Train
21st
The Edge of Heaven
22nd
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull*
23rd
The Children of Huang Shi (limited)
30th
Sex and the City: The Movie
Starship Dave
The Strangers

June
6th
Kung Fu Panda*
Mother of Tears (limited)
The Time Traveler's Wife
When Did You Last See Your Father? (limited)
You Don't Mess with the Zohan
13th
The Happening*
The Incredible Hulk*
20th
Brick Lane (limited)
Get Smart*
The Love Guru
Religulous
25th
Mad Detectives (NY, LA, expands: Feb 1)
Shotgun Stories
27th
Wall-E
Wanted*

July
2nd
Hancock
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl Mystery
3rd
The Wackness
4th
The Last Mistress (limited)
11th
Hellboy II: The Golden Army*
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D
Meet Dave
18th
Mama Mia!
Space Chimps
The Dark Knight*
25th
Perfect Match
Step Brothers
The X-Files 2*

August
1st
He's Just Not That Into You
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor*
Swing Vote
8th
Blindness
Eagle Eye
Pineapple Express
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
15th
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
The Accidental Husband
The International
Towelhead (limited)
Tropic Thunder
Wild Child
22nd
I Know What Boys Like
Mongol (limited)
Trailer Trash
29th
Babylon A.D.*

* Movies I'll be reviewing

1st Annual Captain Redneck's Movie Awards

2008-01-09T09:23:00.000-05:00

Its awards season again. That means it's time for the 1st Annual Captain Redneck's Movie Awards.

Best Action Movie of 2007
Live Free or Die Hard
Runner up
300

Best Animated Movie of 2007
The Simpsons Movie
Runner up
Shrek the Third

Best Thriller of 2007
The Bourne Ultimatum
Runner up
American Gangster

Biggest Surprise of 2007
TMNT
Runner Up
Ocean's Thirteen

Best Spacial Effects
Transformers
Runners up
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Live Free or Die Hard

Most Disappointing Movie of 2007
The Golden Compass
Runner up
I Am Legend

Worst Spacial Effects
Ghost Rider
Runner up
28 Weeks Later

Worst Thriller of 2007
28 Weeks Later
Runner up
Fracture

Worst Action Movie of 2007
Hitman
Runner up
Ghost Rider

Worst Movie of 2007
Hitman
Runners up
Ghost Rider
28 Week Later

Best Movie of 2007
Live Free or Die Hard
Runners up
Transformers
The Bourne Ultimatum

Movie That Suck: Waterworld

2008-01-05T11:33:00.001-05:00

Movies That Suck is back! After a long break, it's time to rant about another bad movie. This time its Waterworld.

Waterworld was the most expensive movie made in the 1990's. It cost about $172 million, and grossed over $88 million. That means it grossed at least $84 million less than it cost, which makes it one of the most expensive flops in Hollywood history. There are many reasons why it was a dud. Here are three of them:

1) The generic plot. A man trying to survive in a post apocalyptic world has to protect a woman and I child, while being chased by a maniac and his or her minions. In Waterworld The Mariner finds Helen and a child named Enola. Throughout the film the trio is persuade by The Deacon and his minions while they search for Dryland.

2) The horrible acting, script, and directing. I can't believe that Kevin Costner and Denis Hopper risked their careers by acting in this flick. What were they thinking? They're too of the best actors of all time, neither one of them can overcome the poorly written script and bad directing. The same can be said for the rest of the cast.

3) The special effects. The effects are the best part of the movie. Unfortunately, it seems that most of the budget for action movies is spent on them. That's the case with Waterworld. My guess is that the effects were used to distract viewers from the convoluted plot and the actors.

Waterworld could have been an epic triumph, but it ends up being an epic failure. This is one waterlogged movie that should remain in Davy Jones' locker for all eternity.

I Am Legend

2007-12-30T12:17:00.000-05:00

In 2009 a cure for cancer was fond. Three years later that cure has all but wiped out humanity. While many of the people who survived became zombies, there are some people who are immune to the virus. Dr. Robert Neville is one of the few that are immune and he's spent the last three years trying to find a cure.

Pros: The movie does a good job of showing one person's struggle to survive in a city where he fells like he's the only person alive. During the daytime Neville hunts for food with his German Shepard Sam, exercises, tries to contact other survivors, and conducts experiments on mice in his lab. At night he has to board up his house to keep the zombies out. The zombies don't appear until Robert goes searching for Sam after she chases a deer into a tunnel. The doctor manages to capture one of the zombies, and takes her back to his lab so that he can try to cure it.

There are a few comedic moments in which Robert talks to manikins. In one scene Robert finds the manikin he named Frank standing in front on a tunnel. At first he shouts at Frank, then he shoots him. The other moment occurs when Robert tries to talk to a female manikin in the video store, because he promised that he would.

One of the most suspenseful moments occurs when Robert gets caught in a trap set up by a zombie hunter. Robert manages to escape, but after he does he and Sam have to fight the zombie and his dogs. During the battle Robert's dog is bitten by the zombie dogs. He tries to cure her, but he fails.

Cons: I Am Legend would be better if it had more moments of suspense, but those moments don't occur very often. Most of time I waited for something exciting to happen, but nothing does. Watching this movie is like playing a video game. You want to skip the long boring cut scenes to get to action, but you can't. You have to watch them before you can start playing again.

Another problem is the ending. When Robert meets Anna, another survivor she tells him that there's a colony of survivors in Vermont. I'm not sure that's the way the book the movie's based on ends, because I haven't read it.

I also have an issue with the flashbacks that occur at random points during the movie. They show what happened the night Robert's wife and daughter left New York City in a helicopter. Those scenes should have appeared during the beginning of the movie.

Final Verdict: While I Am Legend isn't one of Will Smith's best movies, it isn't one of his worst. He's the best actor in this movie, but he can only carry it so far. Like the Tom Hanks movie Castaway, I Am Legend has a good beginning, but the lack of suspense, and conclusion are a disappointment.

Scores (Out of 10):
Story: 6.0
Acting: 7.0
Direction:7.0
Visuals: 6.0

Final Score (Out of 10): 6.5

How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 8
The Simpsons Movie 9
The Bourne Ultimatum 9
American Gangster 9
Hitman 3
The Golden Compass 6.8

The Golden Compass

2007-12-21T14:12:00.002-05:00

The Golden Compass is the first book in Philip Pullman's trilogy "His Dark Materials".
Over a decade after its first publication its finally made into a movie. The Golden Compass has a great cast, and it does a good job of following the source material, but it also has has a few flaws.

Pros: The best thing about The Golden Compass is its cast, because the actors fit their characters perfectly. For example, Nicole Kidman does a fantastic job of portraying the wicked Mrs. Coulter. Ian McKellen provides the perfect voice for the armored bear Iorek Byrnison. The role of air ship pilot Lee Scoresby is played persuasively by Sam Elliot.
I could go on, but I feel that it's time to mention the movie's other strength: the plot twists.

One of the biggest plot twists occurs when Mrs. Coulter tells Lyra that her uncle Lord Asriel is really her father, and that she is her mother. Its hard to believe that Asriel and Mrs. Coulter were married. The other twist occurs when Lyra finds out that her mother is the leader of a organization called the Gobblers. The Gobblers job is to assist the Magisterium in its attempt to separate children from their daemons before they can learn about dust.

The dust mentioned in the book is not the type that you find in your house, its cosmic dust. Lord Aserial believes that this dust can open portals to other worlds, but he needs to go north in order to do more research. Lyra wants to go north as well, so she decides to travel with Mrs. Coulter in her zeppelin. Its at that point when the special effects start to get in the way of the plot and characters.

Cons: The heavy use of special effects is one of the movies major flaws. They draw the viewer's attention from the most important aspects of any movie, which are the plot and characters. While the characters are one of the movie's strong points, the plot sadly is not.

The movie rushes from one place to the next so fast that its hard to keep up. As a result the plot becomes disjointed, and the characters don't become a developed as they should be.

Final Verdict: The Golden Compass isn't a bad movie, but it could have been better. Hopefully the next movie will be longer and won't rely as much on special effects.

Despite all the twists and turns in the beginning the plot of The Golden Compass becomes predicable towards the end. Which is sad considering how well the movie stuck to the events in the book.

Scores (Out of ten):
Story: 6.0
Acting: 8.0
Direction: 7.0
Visuals: 6.0

Final Score (Out of 10): 6.8

How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 8
The Simpsons Movie 9
The Bourne Ultimatum 9
American Gangster 9
Hitman 3

Hitman

2007-12-06T18:27:00.000-05:00

There have been a lot of movies based on video games lately. Some are good, some are bad. Hitman is falls firmly into the latter category.

Pros: I like the fact that the movie Hitman doesn't rely heavily on special effects. It also doesn't have a lot of blood and gore.

The best part is the fight scene in the subway between Agent 47 and the assassins the Organization sent to kill him. It reminded me of the subway fight scene from the first Matrix film where Neo fights Agent Smith.

Cons: The plot is really hard to understand due to it's inconsistent pacing. In the beginning it's fast and confusing, because there's no explanation as to why the Organization sent assassins to kill Agent 47, or
why 47 has a barcode on the back of his head, or how he got the cross he carries in his briefcase. As the flick progresses the plot becomes slow and predictable. Which is sad, because after I saw the trailers I thought the movie would be awesome. You really can't believe everything you see on TV.

One thing that puzzles me the most about the movie is the casting. I thought that Agent 47 would be played by Vin Diesel or The Rock. Instead he's portrayed by Timothy Olyphant, an actor very few people have heard of. The same can be said for the rest of the cast. The actors barely show any emotion and look like androids.

Final Verdict: After seeing awful movies based on the Doom and Mario Bros. franchises, I was hoping that the Hitman movie would be better. Unfortunately, it's not.

While Hitman doesn't rely as heavily on special effects as the majority of action movies these days. Enough though the movie doesn't contain loads of blood and gore, it lacks the visual pizazz of The Matrix. It also has an unevenly paced plot, and questionable casting and directing. The ending leaves an opening for a sequel, but I don't intend to see it.

Scores (Out of 10):
Story: 3
Acting: 3
Direction: 3
Visuals: 3

Final Score : 3
How the rating system works:
9-10.0=A
7-8.9= B
5-6.9= C
3-4.9= D
0-2.9= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 8
The Simpsons Movie 9
The Bourne Ultimatum 9
American Gangster 9

American Gangster

2007-11-15T13:49:00.000-05:00

The most feared head of a New York City crime family wasn't Italian or Irish, he was black. His name is Frank Lucas. He took over the family when Bumpy Johnson died. He also did something no other drug dealer would do, he flew to Asia to buy the purest weed in the world and sell it cheap. Frank became so successful he was able to get the rest of his family and friends involved in drug dealing, and he bought a big house for his mother.

Frank Lucas is being pursued by Detective Richie Roberts. Richie's job isn't easy, because there are a lot of cops that buy or transport drugs given to them by Frank and his associates. Back is the 1970's it wasn't unusual for cops to be involved in the drug trade. When Richie is given the opportunity to put together a crew to help him bring an end to mafia rule in New York. Frank becomes the main target after Richie spots him and other members of his gang at a boxing match. That's when Richie vows to make Frank's life a living hell.

Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe are the two best actors in the movie, and they prove it by convincing the viewers that they are characters their portraying. American Gangster is the best movie Ridely Scott has directed since Gladiator, and it should receive multiple Academy Award nominations.

If your a fan of The Godfather, and Scarface, you'll really like American Gangster. Its not as violent as most gangster flicks, but it's one of the best.

I give this movie a 9 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 8
The Simpsons Movie 9
The Bourne Ultimatum 9

Movies That Suck: The Day After Tomorrow

2007-10-26T13:32:00.000-04:00

At some point in the future there will be major tornadoes in Los Angeles, huge hailstones will fall in Tokyo, and New York City will be flooded then the water will freeze causing a new Ice Age. That's according to the 2004 blockbuster The Day After Tomorrow. I would believe the film's message if it focused more on the plot and characters than on the effects. Unfortunately, the effects are the only decent aspect of the movie. The plot and characters are unimportant. Which is a shame, because I want to care about what happens to the characters, but I can't.

The plot doesn't make any sense. Global warming is happening, but not as rapidly as the movie suggests. For some reason in the US only happens it the eastern and western states, while the southern states and Mexico aren't affected as badly. So in order to survive there must be a massive evacuation to the south. That's what Sam Hall, a climate scientist tried to tell the president. Of course, the president doesn't believe him until its almost too late. When Sam gets a call from his son in New York, he decides to rescue him even if it means risking his life by walking all the way from Washington DC in extremely cold weather. The movie also has several subplots, but it seemed that the directer added them just to make the movie longer than it should have been.

The characters in the movie aren't much better. The actor's are unconvincing, and show very little emotion. It's hard to take any of them seriously, because of the horrible dialogue and acting.

Global warming won't affect the planet as rapidly as The Day After Tomorrow suggests. It could take decades or centuries before anything that happens in this movie actually occurs.

This movie had the potential to be great, but its a clear cut case of style over substance. Which is sad because the effects were cool at first, but after a while I realized that the people who made the movie spent more time on them and less time on writing a good script. Even the best actors couldn't save this disaster. That's why The Day After Tomorrow sucks.

The Bourne Ultimatum

2007-08-25T13:51:00.000-04:00

Jason Bourne is back, and he's trying to find out who he really is. He's also trying to figure out why he was chosen to participate in a CIA run program that's supposed to protect American lives. As in the previous two movies Bourne finds himself being chased all over the world. This time Bourne is being chased by an assassin, who was hired by the CIA to kill him. In this movie Bourne begins his journey in Moscow, and eventually returns to New York to find the place where his training began.

The chase scenes are the best parts of the movie, and in this movie they happen frequently. It seems that Bourne is always on the run. Whether he's jumping from one roof top to the next, riding a motorcycle, or driving a car Jason always seems to find a way to escape, even if he has to fight his way out.

I can't help but feel sorry for the people who are trying to stop Bourne. In spite of all their high tech gadgets, Bourne always manages to stay one step ahead of them. One of major conflicts in the movie is between Pamela Landy and Noah Vosen. Pamela doesn't want to kill Bourne, he thinks that only wants to know the truth. Noah on the other hand wants Bourne dead.

Will Jason learn what his true identity is? I can't tell you that, but I can tell you that the ending leaves an opening for a fourth movie. I hope there is one, because I'd defiantly want I watch it.

If you enjoy watching action packed, suspense filled movies, then you'll like The Bourne Ultimatum is the movie for you. It's one of the best movies of year.

I give this movie a 9 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 8
The Simpsons Movie 9

Movies That Suck: Lost in Space

2007-08-12T18:13:00.000-04:00

For years Hollywood has been turning TV shows into movies. Sometimes the transition is a success, other times it results in a flop. The movie version of the 1960s TV series Lost in Space is a total dud.

The Robinson family is on a mission to find a to find a new home world for the human race, because Earth is on the brink of destruction. One thing that they didn't count on was that an evil man named Smith reprograms Will's robot, and orders it to destroy the Robinson family. While the robot fails to kill the Robinsons, it does succeed in disabling the ship. Now the crew is lost in space, and in danger of crashing into the sun.

Don West, the ship's pilot uses the hyperdrive to fly the ship threw the sun. Once the ship survives it crashes on an uncharted planet, and takes the movie down with it. If the characters had died in the crash landing the film would be much shorter than its running time, which is over two hours. Somehow they manage to survive.

The only thing I liked about the movie was the special effects. They made everything look realistic. Unfortunately, the effects overshadow every other aspect of the movie. The acting is bland, and the plot is full of black holes.

There is a saying the goes "In space no one can hear you scream". In space no one can hear you yawn either. Lost in Space should be lost in space, or at least lost in the DVD bargain bin for all eternity.

The Simpsons Movie

2007-08-08T13:02:00.000-04:00

After almost two decades of waiting there's finally a movie version of the longest running animated series in history. The movie touches on the subjects of pollution global warming, and their impact on the environment. When Lisa finds out that Lake Springfield is polluted, she shows everyone in town her presentation on global warming titled "An Irritating Truth". Eventually the lake gets cleaned up only to be polluted again when Homer drops a silo full of pig waste in it.

As a result of Homer's stupidity the EPA places a dome over Springfield, but the Simpons manage to escape to Alaska. Can Springfield be saved? You'll have to see the movie to find out.

There are a lot of really funny moments, like the scene where Homer is holding the pig upside down and letting walk on the ceiling. Another one occurs when Homer tries to destroy the EPA truck with a crane in order to save his family. The wrecking ball taps the EPA truck then swings back, and destroys the crane. What happens after that is really hilarious.

The Simpons TV series is known for making fun of celebrities, the same goes for the movie. In The Simpsons Movie Arnold Schwarzenegger is the president, which is something that could never really happen. The movie also makes fun of Tom Hanks.

Turning a TV show into a movie is no easy task. Film adaptations of popular television programs aren't always successful. The Simpsons makes the transition flawlessly, which is why it's one of the best animated movies of 2007.

I give this movie a 9 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 8

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2007-07-29T13:11:00.000-04:00

Lord Voldemort is back, and he plans to rebuild his army, and make Harry's life a living nightmare. Of course the Ministry of Magic doesn't believe it, and sends Dolores Umbridge to Hogwarts to be the new Professor for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Umbridge does her best to convince everyone at Hogwarts that Voldemort isn't coming back. She also tries to stop some of the students from forming a rebellion.

The students aren't the only ones trying to stop Voldemort. There is also a mysterious group known as the Order of the Phoenix, which is headed by Harry's godfather Sirius Black. There are so many plot twists I can't possibly discuss all of them in this review. I can tell you that Harry kisses a girl, but it's not Hermione.

The effects steal the show especially during the battle, and training scenes. It's amazing how technology has allowed film makers to create effects that were impossible decades ago. The backgrounds are very realistic, and make the viewer feel like their really in the movie.

Now that the last book has been released, Potter fans can look foreword to seeing two more movies. Will they be as good as this one? We'll have to wait and see.

I give this movie an 8 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8
Transformers 8

Transformers

2007-07-10T13:39:00.000-04:00

For over two decades the Autobots and the Decepicons have been fighting a seemingly never ending war. That war hits the big screen with a bang this summer. If your looking for a movie with a lot of explosions, then Transformers is the movie for you.

The Decepeticons have arrived on earth to search for the All Spark. They send a scout to gather the classified data they need to find it. The scout eventually finds out the map to the All Spark, which had been imprinted on the glasses of the grandfather of Sam Witwicky. The same glasses Sam is trying to sell on EBay so that he has enough money to buy a car. When Sam and his dad go to buy the car, Sam sees an old Camaro. What he doesn't know is that the ordinary looking car is actually Bumblebee, who is a member of the Autobots. One night the Camaro drive to a junk yard, and Sam follows it. He's shocked when he sees the Camaro transform for the first time, as Bumblebee sends a signal to the other Autobots.Eventually other members of the Autobots arrive, led by Optimus Prime. They need Sam to find the glasses so they can find the All Spark before the Decepicons do. When the Autobots and Decepicons clash, all hell breaks loose.

The effects in this movie are incredible, especially when the Autobots and Decepicons transform, and during the fight sequences. Buildings and other structures are destroyed, and a lot of stuff gets blown up. That's what you can expect from a movie directed by Micheal Bay. Transformers is one of his best films. It's as good as Bad Boys and Bad Boys II, and its much better than Pearl Harbor.

There are two things I didn't like about the movie: 1) The plot was hard to follow in the beginning. 2) The ending seemed a little too long. Otherwise it was an excellent viewing experience.

I give this movie an 8 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8
Live Free or Die Hard 8

Live Free or Die Hard

2007-06-30T22:08:00.000-04:00

Bruce Willis is back in action as John McClane. This time America's security is threatened by a group of hackers are threatening to shut down the nation's government, and infrastructure. In order to stop them McClane teams up with a hacker named Matt played by Justin Long who plays the role of the Mac in Apple's Mac vs. PC ads. McClane has to bring Matt to Washington DC, but first they have to survive an attack from assassins who work for Gabriel, the leader of the evil computer geniuses.

Live Free or Die Hard is the ultimate action movie. It has explosions, gun fights, and chase scenes. One of my favorite scenes is when McClane destroys a helicopter with a car. Another good one is when an F-17 attacks a semi truck driven by McClane. The reason why it attacked the car is because Gabriel gave the pilot the order.

Since the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, America has been focused on fighting terrorists from other countries, while ignoring the fact that there might be terrorists in this country. A terrorist attack on this country by computer hackers seems likely, but it would take a lot of time effort and people to pull off. Gabriel was hoping that his plan to shut down America's government, financial, transportation, and energy infrastructure would work, but he wasn't counting on the fact that McClane would do everything he could to stop him from succeeding.

Live Free or Die Hard is the best movie of the franchise. It's action packed, and has a great cast. It's one of the must see movies of the summer.
I give this movie an 8 out of 10

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7
Ocean's Thirteen 8

Movies That Suck: Titanic

2007-06-22T09:26:00.001-04:00

Titanic is the highest grossing movie in the world. So why do I think it sucks? It's extremely long and boring. While I was watching it, I couldn't wait for it to end so that I could see the Titanic crash into the iceberg and sink to the bottom of the ocean. Unforunately I had to wait about three hours to see it happen.

Another thing I hated about the movie is that the love triangle which involves a poor boy named Jack (Lenardo DiCaprio), Rose (Kate Winslet), and the rich guy she's engaged to. The reason why I hate love triangles is that they turn a potentially good movie into a chick flick.

I don't mind watching long movies as long as they're worth viewing. Titanic isn't one of those movies. The movie could have been a whole lot better if it was about an hour shorter, and if the love story didn't take up most of the plot. Like the Titanic this movie is just one big ship wreck.

Ocean's Thirteen

2007-06-15T12:08:00.000-04:00

Danny Ocean and his gang of con artists return to Vegas. This time they are assisted by their old nemesis. The new villain is Willy Bank, who happens to be the former business partner of Reuben. Bank decides to open a new casino without Reuben. So Danny and his crew decide to steal three quarters of a billion dollars from the casino. In order for the plan to work all the machines and games have to be rigged. That's easier said than done.Some one has to go to the factory where the dice are made and load them, some one has to rig the slot machines, while others rig the games. Then another person has to pretend to be a super high roller.

Bank's casino has a state of the art security system that can only be disrupted by an earthquake. Once that happens the system shuts down and takes three and a half minuets to reboot. In order to simulate an earthquake the gang has to use a machine that tunnels underground. To get the machine they need to borrow money from Terry Benedict. In return Benedict wants Ocean to steal the diamonds Bank got when his casinos receive a five diamond review.

Banks wants his new casino to get a five star review, but he doesn't know that while some one is impersonating the reviewer, Ocean's gang is making the actual reviewer's life a nightmare.

Ocean's Thirteen has an all star cast just like the previous films. It's as good the first movie, and it's better than second one. If you like heist flicks then you'll like Ocean's Thirteen. It's only flaw is the fact that the movie makes robbing a casino look easier than it really is. If your even thinking about ripping off a casino you should know that it takes a lot of time, people, and effort to pull off. You also have to deal with security, and the risk of getting arrested. So don't even try it. That kind of scheme is best left to the professionals.

I give this movie an 8 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4
Shrek the Third 7

Shrek the Third

2007-05-24T16:12:00.000-04:00

After he married Princess Fiona, the last thing Shrek expected was becoming the king of Far Far Away. He receives the news from the frog king Harold while is on his death bed. Shrek doesn't want to be the ruler of Far Far Away, and asks the king if there is another person who could take the thrown. The king mentions a young boy named Arthur.

Before Shrek, Donkey, and Puss set out on their adventure Fiona tells Shrek that she's pregnant. That night Shrek has a nightmare in which he's surrounded by babies. The trio eventually meet Arthur, and the wizard Merlin. One of the funniest parts in the movie is when Merlin's spell cause Donkey and Puss to switch bodies.

Meanwhile, the evil Prince Charming has returned to Far Far Away with a gang of fairy tale villains. The villains manage to take over Far Far Away and capture Fiona, the queen, and other fairy tale princesses. Can the kingdom be saved before its too late?
You'll have to see the movie to find out.

The first Shrek movie was funny, because it turned the world of fairy tales on its head. Shrek 2 wasn't as good, but it did add some interesting characters such as Puss 'n Boots, Prince Charming, and the Fairy Godmother. Shrek the Third does have some hilarious moments, but it feels more like a morality tale about the importance of friends and family.

The franchise isn't dead yet, but it does seem to be getting a little stale. Shrek the Third is better than Shrek 2, but the first Shrek movie is still the best. Here's hoping that Shrek 4 can breath some life into this franchise before it sinks.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4

28 Weeks Later

2007-05-18T10:14:00.000-04:00

28 Weeks Later is guilty of three sins of bad movies. Its plot is horrible. During the beginning I couldn't help think why the guy running away from the zombies leaves his wife in the house he's running away from. When his children leave to find their mother I don't why he doesn't try to stop them. The rest of the plot is just as confusing.

The acting and the dialogue aren't much better. Most of the actors are just as stiff as the zombies, and the dialogue is awful. This movies is better suited for an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, or a direct to DVD release. That's how bad it is. To make matters worse for every minute of action there's several minuets of boredom.

Shawn of the Dead my have been a comedy but its a better zombie movie than this. At least Shawn of the Dead had more suspense, drama, and action than 28 Weeks Later. Sadly this is yet another flick that relays heavily on effects. The effect are awesome, but they can't make up for the bad plot, acting, and dialogue. I haven't seen 28 Days Later, but I hope that its better than the sequel. The ending leaves an opening for a third movie, and I hope there isn't one.

I give this movie a 4 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5

Movies That Suck: The Order

2007-05-06T09:36:00.001-04:00

Every once in a while there's a movie that should have been a direct to DVD release. The Order is one of those movies. The plot centers around the death of the head of a religious order know as the Carolingians. The creature responsible for his death is known as a Sin Eater. This creature sucks the sins out of its victims, so that they can enter heaven.

Alex Bernler (Heath Ledger) is sent to investigate this mysterious death. Alex is one of the last living members of the Carolingian order. Joining him on his mission is a painter named Mara, and Father Thomas Garrett. I don't know how Alex can trust Mara after she tried to kill him during an exorcism. I won't even bother explaining the rest of the plot, because it doesn't make sense, and either do the actors or the dialogue.

Like The Passion of the Christ and The Da Vinci Code, The Order was criticized by the Catholic church. However, unlike The Passion of the Christ, and The Da Vinci Code, The Order was a dud at the box office.

The Order deserves to be in the cheap DVD bin with all the other bad movies. It's one the least suspenseful, and most boring films I've ever seen. It has all the hallmarks of a crappy, poorly made piece of trash that should have been burned. I'd rather watch the the Exorcist, because at least that movie had some scary moments in it. The Order is a horrible abomination that must be exorcised.

Summer Movie Preview

2007-05-03T12:23:00.000-04:00

Here's a preview of the movies coming to theaters this summer.
*-Movies I'll be reviewing

May
4th
Spider-Man 3
Lucky You
11th
28 Weeks Later*
Delta Farce
Georgia Rule
18th
Shrek the Third*
25th
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Bug

June
1st
Knocked Up
Mr. Brooks
8th
Hostel: Part 2
Ocean's Thirteen*
Surf's Up
15th
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Nancy Drew
22nd
1408
A Mighty Heart
Evan Almighty
You Kill Me
27th
Live Free or Die Hard*
29th
Death at A Funeral
Ratatouille

July
3rd
Transformers*
License to Wed
11th
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix*
13th
Captivity
20th
Hairspray
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Sunshine
27th
I Know Who Killed Me
No Reservations
The Simpsons Movie*
Skinwalkers
Who's Your Caddy?

August
3rd
Bratz
Charlie Bartlet
El Cantante
Hot Rod
The Bourne Ultimatum*
Underdog
8th
Daddy Day Camp
10th
Rush Hour 3
Stardust
17th
Penelope
Superbad
The Invasion
The Last Legion
24th
Illegal Tender
Mr. Bean's Holiday*
Resurrecting the Champ
September Dawn
The Nanny Diaries
War
31st
Balls of Fury
Death Sentence
Halloween*

You can find out more info about these movies in
Yahoo! Movies Summer Movie Guide

Fracture

2007-04-30T15:12:00.000-04:00

If you've seen at least one episode of any Law & Order or CSI then you should be familiar with some of the plot of movie Fracture. That is if you want to see it. Anthony Hopkins plays Ted, an old man who shoots his wife after finding out that she is having an affair. Now here's the twist, the man she's having the affair with is the officer who Ted allows to enter his house. Of course before the cops show up Ted does his best to clean up the evidence, and hide his gun. When the police show up Ted confesses to the crime, and is arrested.

The case is given to a young hotshot attorney named Willy who is play by Ryan Goslin. Willy think that this will be an open and shut case, but he doesn't what surprises Ted has in store for him. Of course his mind is on other things like the job he's about to take at a corporate law firm. Ted makes Willy's life miserable during the first trial, when the cop takes the stand he tells the court that the cop had an affair with his wife. Now Willy must find new evidence or he could lose the case.

Fracture has the potential to be a good movie, but it has a lot of flaws. Hopkins was great as Hannibal Lector, but he's seem to have lost ability to play the role of a cold blooded killer. It seems that age a finally caught up to him. At some points the movie seems to move at fast pace, only to slow down to a crawl. In other words it feels longer than its 1 hour and 52 minute running time. At one point a actually thought about leaving the theater. I couldn't do it, because I wanted to see if it would live up to the hype. Sadly it doesn't.

Fracture is just that a really fractured movie that jumps from one scene to the next with little explanation as to where the characters are, or why their there. Sometimes a character would show up unexpectedly. For example when the cop shows up at Willy's house, you can't help think "What the heck is he doing there?"

At first the movie keeps you guessing, because of all the twists and turns in the plot which is the one thing I liked. However, it becomes predicable towards the end.

Fans of crime dramas should stick to Law & Order or CSI or any other crime show, because this movie isn't worth the cost of admission. Wait for the DVD.

I give this movie a 5 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7

TMNT

2007-03-29T19:19:00.000-04:00

Cowabunga dudes! The turtles are back in theaters in an animated movie. The movie begins with a story about a general who finds a portal, which makes him immortal. However it also unleashes thirteen monsters, and turns his army to stone. Three thousand years later Leo goes to South America to help protect a village from a gang of thieves. Eventually April finds him, and convinces him come back to New York City, because his family is falling apart.

To make matters worse a billionaire named Max Winters wants to bring four statues to life, so that they and the Foot Clan can capture the monsters. Now Leo must get the family back together in order to save the world. That won't be easy considering the fact that Raph has become the Night Watcher, and has taken the law into his own hands. The movie can be fun to watch, if you can follow the plot, which doesn't make any sense.

I have to admit that I didn't have very high expectations for this movie, considering how bad Ninja Turtles III was. I was surprised by the fact that I liked the movie. It brought back a lot of memories from my childhood. The ending makes me wonder if there will be a sequel. I would hope so, because maybe Shredder will come back. It would also be nice to finally see Bebop, Rock Steady, Krane, and other villains from the cartoons and video games in a Ninja Turtles movie even if it is CG.

Like the third movie this one does have some really corny lines. For example at one point in the movie Mike says "Did anyone get the licence plate of the thing that hit us last night?" Then he says to Leo "It looked like your mom dude!" Those have got to be the dumbest lines ever. TMNT isn't as good as the first Ninja Turtles movie, but it's defiantly better than the third. The only things that keep it for getting a perfect score are the convoluted plot and the corny dialogue.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8

Movies That Suck: Underworld

2007-03-17T10:26:00.000-04:00

For four years I've tried to repress the memories I've had of this horrible movie.
Since I put it in my Top 10 Least Favorite Movies list, I might as well tell you why I hate Underworld. I'm not a big fan of vampire movies, but I've seen Blade and Van Helsing, and those two movies are hundreds of times better than Underworld.

There are three ways to tell that a movie really sucks.
I call them the 3 sins of bad movies:
Sin #1: Bad plot
Sin #2: Bad acting
Sin #3: Bad dialogue
Underworld is guilty of all three of these sins.

This movie is about a battle between the vampires and the werewolves that has been raging for centuries. Some of the werewolves after a human named Micheal, and the vampire named Selene has decided to protect him from them. The plot sounds simple, but there is no clear indication of why the war has lasted for so long. After seeing Ghost Rider, it's sad to think how much these movies have in common.

Like in Ghost Rider, the acting and dialogue in Underworld are among the worst ever in a movie. It doesn't matter how good the actors are, even the best actors in Hollywood couldn't save this awful flick. The characters are stiff and emotionless, and it seemed like the script had been written by someone obsessed with role playing games, and vampire movies. The film itself seems like it was rushed into production.

The worst part about Underworld is that it's a blatant rip off of The Matrix. Just substitute the humans with vampires, and the machines with werewolves. The fight scenes, and costumes look very similar. While many films have tried to copy The Matrix, this one fails miserably.

It's hard to believe that there's a sequel to this movie, and there are rumors that a third one is in the works. If your a fan a vampire movies, you'd be better off watching the Blade trilogy. Don't waste you time with this uninspired pile of garbage.

300

2007-03-12T21:00:00.000-04:00

What do you get when you cross Lord of the Rings with Troy? You get 300. This movie is loosely based on an historic battle between the Spartans and the Persians. Even though the Spartans were clearly outnumbered, their king Leonidas believed that his army could win. However, in order to go to war Leonidas must defy the Gods, and the senate. He does this, because he doesn't want Greece to fall into the hands of Xerxes.

During the battle there are all kinds of strange creatures that reminded me of the Lord of the Rings movies. There's a hunchback who reminded me of Gollum, because he claims that he can help the heroes but then he betrays them. There are also a giant Rhino, and giant Elephants. There are other creatures such as a wolf and a giant.

Like in the movie Troy the battle sequences in 300 are epic. The only difference is that fact that the film makers weren't afraid to show blood. During the battles a lot of blood and limbs fly everywhere, and arrows fall down like rain. If your the kind of person who cringes and the sight of blood, you shouldn't see this movie. There's a reason why it's rated R.

If you enjoyed Gladiator, Troy, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy then you'll want to see 300. If your looking for historical accuracy then 300 is not the movie for you. It's based a graphic novel so you should realize that most of the events that take place are fictional. 300 is one of the best movies of 2007 so far.

I give this movie an 8 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4

Movies That Suck: Battlefield Earth

2007-03-09T14:50:00.000-05:00

In my opinion Battlefield Earth is the worst movie ever made. That's why I gave it a 1 out of 10 when I ranked my Top 10 Least Favorite Movies.

Why is this film such as piece of junk? Well if you saw Ghost Rider and thought the dialogue in that movie was bad, the dialogue in Battlefield Earth is one hundred times worse. The plot isn't much better. John Travolta plays the leader of a race of aliens known as the Psychlos. These aliens have enslaved humans, and have forced them to mine gold. Unfortunately for them one of the slaves has decided to rebel. Instead of destroying the rebel the head Psychlo decides to teach it the language of his home world. How dumb can he be? Pretty dumb considering the fact that he also allows the human into the library of knowledge. I thought aliens were supposed to be intelligent not stupid.

So as you might guess there is a battle between the Psychlos and the humans and of course the humans win. Now normally I don't give away the endings to movies, but this one is so awful I'll make an exception. I want to spare as many people from seeing this senseless waste of talent, and money as possible. This movie is proof of why John Travola's acting career has gone down hill recently. He hasn't been in a decent movie since he starred in Battlefield Earth. It's a shame what one bad movie can do to a good actor.

Do yourself a favor and don't watch this horrible movie ever.

Movies That Suck: Super Mario Bros. The Movie

2007-03-05T10:22:00.002-05:00

As a kid I enjoyed playing the Super Mario Bros. games. So when I fond out about the movie I was excited. I thought that this movie would be just like the games, but I was wrong. This movie is the reason why I hate all movies based on video games. Why does Hollywood think its a good idea to turn video games into movies? I don't know.

The plot doesn't make any sense at all. The world has been split into two dimensions. One ruled by humans, and the other is ruled by King Koopa. King Koopa captures Princess Daisy, and its up to Mario and Luigi to save her. Princess Daisy has a crystal that has the power to merge the two worlds together, and if King Koopa gets his hands on it he can rule both dimensions.

Most of the characters in the film have the look and personality that matches the characters from the game. However King Koopa looks more human than reptile, and the goombas are really ugly. They also look nothing like the goombas in the games, they have really tiny heads. The goombas are created by King Koopa's de-evolution device. Yoshi also makes an appearance, but he too doesn't look anything like his video game version.

It's unfortunate to think that this pile of junk paved the way for other really bad movies based on video games. Mario Bros. fans should be glad that the movie didn't destroy the franchise, and the fact that there will never be a sequel.

Ghost Rider

2007-03-02T22:35:00.001-05:00

I really wanted to like this movie. Unfortunately, it's yet another action film that chooses style over substance. All the awesome computer generated effects in Ghost Rider can't make up for the poor acting, and crappy dialogue. While video games are starting to resemble movies, this movie resembles a really bad video game.

What makes matters worse is the actors. Nicholas Cage plays the main character Johnny Blaze. I've never been a big fan of Cage, because he shows no emotion what so ever in practically every movie he's in. This one is no exception. His character is about as lively as Neo in the Matrix trilogy. The other actors are just as bland as Cage. At times I couldn't help but wonder who wrote the script, because the dialogue in Ghost Rider is about as bad as the dialogue in Star Wars Episode II.

The only good thing about Ghost Rider is the effects. It's cool to see all the flames shooting out of Ghost Rider and his bike, the wind and water effects were also really fun to watch. However, some of time the visuals looked more like they belonged in a video game than a movie, which would have been great if the movie had been animated rather than live action.

I won't give away too much of the plot. It's not much better than the rest of the movie. Johnny's father, a daredevil motorcycle rider has cancer, and Johnny who is also a daredevil makes a deal with the Devil. The Devil will cure Johnny's father, but Johnny must give the Devil his soul. When he does Johnny becomes the Ghost Rider. The Ghost Rider is the Devil's bounty hunter, and must destroy creatures who have escaped from hell. The movie also mentions something about a contract, but I won't go into too much detail about that, because I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who wants to see it.

Ghost Rider isn't a really bad super hero movie, but its not a really great one either. It's better than The Hulk, but its not as good as The Punisher or X-Men III. If you're a fan of super hero movies then you should see Ghost Rider. If not then you shouldn't see it, because it will be a big waste of your time and money.

I give this movie a 4 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

Movies That Suck: Inspector Gadget

2007-02-19T12:46:00.001-05:00

This rant is about the movie Inspector Gadget. When I was a kid I loved watching the cartoon Inspector Gadget. So when found out about the movie version I was excited. However, after seeing the movie that excitement turned into bitter disappointment. I couldn't believe that Disney had butchered one of the best cartoons ever made.

One of the many problems with the movie is that Matthew Broderick played the role of Inspector Gadget. Broderick was okay in Godzilla, but he was horrible in this film. He made Gadget seem stiff and robotic rather than clumsy and clueless like in the cartoon.

The plot is simple. The evil Claw and his minions are trying to take over the world. So when Claw finds out the security guard at the lab where the scientist was killed has been transformed into Inspector Gadget by Brenda, who happens to be the daughter of the murdered scientist, he decides to make an evil clone of Gadget. So now the real Inspector Gadget has to save the city from the impostor, and stop Claw.

Like in the cartoon version, Gadget is assisted by his niece Penny, her dog Brain, his car the Gadget Mobile, and his various assortment of gadgets. Only the car voiced by D.L. Hughley, and the gadgets bring life to what is otherwise a dull and boring movie. The plot is dull, the actors with the exception of Hughley don't bring any life to their characters, and the jokes are really corny. That's why this movie sucks.

Movies That Suck: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

2007-02-07T15:17:00.001-05:00

I'm adding a new segment to the blog called Movies That Suck. In this segment I will rant about movies that suck. This rant is about the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

As a kid I loved playing the Ninja Turtles video games, watching the cartoon, and playing with the action figures. I also enjoyed the first two movies. The third movie, however was a major disappointment. It had none of the traditional villains in it. There's no Krane, Bebop, Rock Steady, Shredder, Rat King, or any other villains from the cartoon or video games. The bad guys in the movie are a samurai, whose name I can't pronounce, and Walker, a guy who looks like he belongs in a western.

In this movie the Turtles and April are transported to ancient Japan. That's right, they travel back in time. What a great concept! Like that dead horse hasn't been beaten enough. There are so many movies about time travel its ridiculous. Another problem with TNMT III besides its lack of originality is the turtles themselves. They look uglier than in the first two movies, their lines are a lot cornier, and their jokes are lamer. They say things like: "Help! I'm a turtle, and I can't get up." That has got to be one of the dumbest lines ever. The movie even includes references to The Adams Family, Star Trek, Godzilla, The Three Stooges, Elvis, and MC Hammer.

On Screw Attack's website you can find the Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the movie.
Part One
http://screwattack.com/Flash%20HTML/ANN/TMNT3movie1.html
Part 2
http://screwattack.com/Flash%20HTML/ANN/TMNT3movie2.html
After seeing these movies I have to agree with him.
This movie sucks.

Rocky Balboa

2007-01-23T18:23:00.000-05:00

If you had one chance to fulfill your your dream would you take it, or let it slide? That's the situation Rocky finds himself in after watching a computer generated fight against the current champ Mason "The Line" Dixon, in which Rocky wins. That fight gives Mason's managers the idea to have the champ fight Rocky for real.

When they tell Rocky this idea at first he says that he'll think about it, after a while Rocky decides to get into the ring one last time. When his son finds out he tells his father that its a bad idea for him to fight. Rocky refuses to let his age slow him down, and then comes the training montage that's in every Rocky movie.

The fight between Rocky and Mason clearly shows what boxing has become. Its not as popular as it used to be, and most of the matches are either on a 24 hour sports channel such as ESPN or Fox Sports Net, or a pay per view channel. The fight in the movie is broadcast on the HBO pay per view channel. One of the commentators is Max Kellerman, the former host of ESPN's Around the Horn. Mike Tyson also makes a cameo appearance in the movie.

The message of this movie is that you should follow your dreams, no matter how crazy they may seem to other people. Rocky's dream was to fight in the ring one last time. If George Foreman can do it, then why can't Rocky?
If your a fan of the Rocky movies, then you'll love Rocky Balboa.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8
Superman Returns 8
Monster House 7
Miami Vice 6
Snakes on a Plane 6
Flags of Our Fathers 9
Deja Vu 5

Déjá Vu

2006-12-13T14:02:00.000-05:00

What does déjá vu mean? According to the Oxford American Dictionary déjá vu means: a feeling of having already experienced the present situation.

Déjá Vu is a good movie with a great cast, but the premise is old.
There are too many other movies in which one or more characters goes back in time to in order to change events in the future. Movies such as The Butterfly Effect, The Terminator and Back to the Future trilogies come to mind.

In this movie ATF agent Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington) investigate the explosion of a New Orleans ferry carrying Navy personnel returning home from their tour of duty, and their families. Doug is also fascinated by the murder of a young woman name Claire. When Agent Carlin searches Claire's house on the refrigerator he finds a note made out of alphabet magnets that spells out the words: U Can Save Her. At first Doug wonders what that means, then he finds a group of scientists who have fond a way to create a rift in the space-time continuum. In other words, they've found a way for objects to be sent four days into the past.

Using this technology Doug hopes to go back in time, save Claire's life, and stop the explosion from occurring. This reminded me of the movie Minority Report, because in that movie the cops were able to prevent crimes in the past before they happened in the future.

I respect Denzel as an actor, but it seems that recently he's making a career out of playing the role of a law enforcement officer, that's fine but I'm sure it will give people who have seen movies with him playing that type of role will get a sense of déjá vu.

Déjá Vu would've been better considering the fact that it's produced by Jerry Bruckheimer's production company. However it reminded of too many movies I've already seen before. In other words, watching this movie gave me a bad case of déjá vu.

I give this movie a 5 out of 10

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8
Superman Returns 8
Monster House 7
Miami Vice 2
Snakes on a Plane 6
Flags of Our Fathers 9

More reviews

2006-11-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

There won't be any reviews, until after Thanksgiving. I thought that Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny would be released on the 17th, but now the release date has been pushed back to the 22nd, which is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and the same day as Deja Vu. This of course was done to take advantage of the Thanksgiving weekend, which is usually one of the biggest weekends at the box office.

So enjoy your Thanksgiving meal, football games, and movies. I'll be back after the holiday weekend with more movie reviews for make benefit movie watchers everywhere.

Random Borat note: You may already know that the movie will not be shown in Kazakhstan. Now its also been banned by Russia, because of its content. Just be glad you live in a country where movies like Borat aren't banned by the government.

Flags of Our Fathers

2006-11-03T12:27:00.000-05:00

Very few people know the story behind the famous picture of the flag beeing raised by American soliders at Iwo Jima. Flags of Our Fathers tells that story from the points of view of three of the soliders that raised the flag. They were seen as "heros". While the war was still going on, they traveled across the country as part of a tour to get people to buy war bonds. At one of the events they meet the mothers of some of the boys that were killed in the battle.

Some people thought that the flag raising was staged, just like some people believe the landing on the moon was staged, and some people believe that the holocaust never happened. Those events really occured. That picture gave Americans the hope they needed during on of the most dramatic times in American history.

Stories like this need to be told, because there aren't many World War II veterans who are still alive today. When they're gone, who will be left to tell their stories? No one can or will ever forget the war, because of the recently contructed World War II Memorial in Washington, DC, and a monument of the soliders planting the flag. Those soilders may be gone, but that monument will stand as a reminder of the event.

Sixty years from now how will the Iraq War be remembered? Only time will tell if the mission to turn Iraq into a democratic nation was a success, or a huge waste of time, money, and resources. I'm sure there will be mnay moives made about the recent war in the years to come. Veterns of this war will have many stories to tell, just the vets who fought in past wars. There are some lessons that can't be learned by reading history text books.

I'm a big fan of Clint Eastwood, but I had some doubts about his ablity to direct moives. This was one of the best war moives I've ever seen. It ranks right up there with the great war flims such as Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, and The Big Red One. Its definitly better than Pearl Harbor. Heck, any war movie is better than Pearl Harbor. That's just my opinon.

I give this movie a 9 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8
Superman Returns 8
Monster House 7
Miami Vice 2
Snakes on a Plane 6

Snakes on a Plane

2006-08-24T14:09:00.000-04:00

The movie Snakes on A Plane has been the subject of many internet parodies, and hype. In fact it's the most parodied movie since Brokeback Mountain. So is all worth it? Of course it is. Some bloggers inspired the makers of the movie to make so many changes to the film the rating from PG-13 to R.

I have to admit one of the reasons I wanted to see Snakes on A Plane was so I could hear Samuel L. Jackson say "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" That could be the most memorable movie line sine Charlton Hesston said "Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape."

This movie might not win any awards, but it was at least in my opinion, one of the best B movies I've ever seen. I'm sure if there's a Scary Movie 5, Snakes on A Plane could be one of the films that's spoofed. It just begging to be lampooned by Mad Magazine, Saturday Night Live, South Park, and other comedy shows, movies, etc. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 were still on TV the robots would watch Snakes on A Plane.

Anyone who travels on a airplane these days has a lot to worry about there's terrorist hijackers, bombs in shoes, liquid explosives, and faulty laptop batteries, but they don't have to worry about snakes yet.

I give this movie a 6 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8
Superman Returns 8
Monster House 7
Miami Vice 2

Miami Vice

2006-08-13T11:46:00.001-04:00

I could say that Miami Vice is the best action movie of the summer, but then I'd be lying. In fact Miami Vice shouldn't even be called an action movie, because it lacks action. There's too much sex and not enough violence. In other words the love story takes up too much of the plot. It reminded me of Pearl Harbor, Titanic, and the three most recent Star Wars films.

I thought Miami Vice would be as good as the movies in the Bad Boys, Rush Hour, and Lethal Weapon franchises, but I was wrong. I expected more from Michael Mann, the director of Collateral, which is one of his best films. I had similarly high expectations for M. Night Shyamalan when the The Village was released, and that movie also turned out to be a major disappointment. I wanted to write about how suspenseful it was, but it turned out to be just as suspenseful as The Blair Witch Project (one of the worst, and funniest movies ever made). Miami Vice only proves why most TV shows shouldn't be made into movies (a lesson Hollywood should have learned by now).

Hollywood has relayed on the same formula for summer movies for years. The old saying goes "If it isn’t broken, don't fix it", but by now the movie companies should realize that just because a TV show is a classic it doesn't mean it deserves to be a movie.

I give this movie a 2 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8
Superman Returns 8
Monster House 7

Monster House

2006-07-29T14:35:00.000-04:00

It's every kid's nightmare. Their most prized possession ends up on the lawn of the creepiest house in the neighborhood, and never comes back. Most kids would be scared to enter a house that looks like something out of a Steven King novel.

However, three kids DJ, Chowder, and Jenny plan to enter the possessed house of old man Nebbercracker in order to destroy the heart of the Monster House. Kids who are easily frightened should not this movie, because it contains scenes such as a dog being pulled into a the house by its rug tongue. It also has its funny moments like when the kids were looking at the house, and Chowder says to Jenny "It just sits there, mocking us with its houseness."

Monster House may not be the best or the funniest animated movies ever made, but it's certainly not the worst. 2006 is the year of the computer animated movie so you better enjoy it while it lasts.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8
Superman Returns 8

Superman Returns

2006-07-09T09:26:00.000-04:00

He's faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! He stands for truth, justice, and the American way! Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!

That's right, Superman is back in Metropolis after spending five years searching for what's left of his home planet. While he was gone Lois fell in love with Richard, and had a son. No one knows if Richard or Clark is the father.

Everyone is excited that Superman is back, everyone but his arch enemy Lex Luthor. Luthor's plan is to create his own land in the middle of the ocean, using crystals he took from Superman's fortress of solitude, and pieces of kryptonite, the one thing that can kill Superman. When this land is created most of the world will be flooded, and millions of people will die. Can Superman stop Luthor, and save the world before its too late? You'll have to watch the movie to find out.

I'm not a big fan of Superman, but I did like this movie. It was action packed, and the effects were really cool. However, the movie seemed to drag on forever at the end. If you're a fan of super heroes you'll love this movie, but if you hate all the hassles of going to the movie theater then you should wait for the DVD.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6
The Da Vinci Code 8
X-Men 3 : The Last Stand 8

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-24T12:34:00.000-04:00

What if everything you ever knew about Jesus was a lie. According to the movie based on Dan Brown's controversial novel, there is a secret society whose purpose is to protect the holy bloodline of Jesus and Mary Magdelene, and that Da Vinci was a member. There is also a group called Opus Dei, whose purpose is to destroy any evidence of the bloodline, and the living members of the Priory of Sion.

In the movie a priest who is a member of Opus Dei sends his servant Silas (Paul Bettany) to hunt down members of Priory, as well as Robert Landon (Tom Hanks), Sophie (Audrey Tautou), and Leigh Teabing (Ian McKellen) as they go on a quest to find the Holy Grail. They’re also being chased by detective Bezu Fache (Jean Reno), and all the police officers in Paris, and London. Detective Bezu is certain that Robert murdered the curator at the Louvre, and he'll do anything to stop him.
The great thing about The Da Vinci Code is that it keeps the viewers on the edge of their seats, because it’s so suspenseful. It’s hard to tell whom the heroes and the villains are until the end.

Even tough I haven’t read the book; I thought that The Da Vinici Code was one of the best movies I've ever seen. It has one of the best casts that have ever been assembled, and Ron Howard showed why he's one of the best directors in Hollywood. Turning a book into a movie isn't easy, and it doesn't always translate into a success, The Da Vinici Code pulls it off.

It’s hard to separate fact from fiction, so no one really knows if Dan Brown or the Catholic Church is telling the truth about Jesus. Historians will be debating this topic for years. You don't have to be religious or read the book to watch the movie. However, reading the book will help viewers to understand what's going on, or they may feel in a little lost like I did.

I give this movie an 8 out of 10.
How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This Year so far (scores out of 10):
Ice Age: The Meltdown 6

King Kong

2005-12-20T17:44:00.000-05:00

I can easily sum up Peter Jackson's version of King Kong in three words: longest movie ever. At some points the movie seemed longer than its three hour plus running time, and that's what made it so boring. It got exciting at times like when the actors were being chased be dinosaurs. At that point I thought that I was watching an other "Jurassic Park" movie, that was until I saw the 25 foot computer generated giant gorilla that is King Kong. The movie seemed to drag on forever from there.

I can basically sum up the plot this way: Giant gorilla meets human female. Giant gorilla falls in love with human female, and saves her from being eaten. Greedy men capture giant gorilla and bring him back to New York. Giant gorilla breaks out of chains and destroys the city until he finds the human female.

I can't tell you how it ends, because that would ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it. I can tell you this much, this version of Kong is a typical Hollywood action movie, its all about the effects and the CGI, and not about the actors (and I use the term loosely). I'd rather watch the original Kong, because its shorter.
I give this movie a 4 out of 10

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far (scores out of 10)
Robots 8
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 7
Cinderella Man 7
Batman Begins 8
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 7
Doom 5
Four Brothers 8
War of the Worlds 7
Corpse Bride 6
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Ware-Rabbit 8

Batman Begins

2005-12-20T17:12:00.000-05:00

Batman fans have dying to know about the origin of the Dark Knight. The movie Batman Begins finally tells the story of how Bruce Wayne became the defender of Gotham City. Bruce (Christian Bale) is a prisoner in a third world country, until he’s saved by Ducard (Liam Neeson) a strange man who tells him to bring a blue flower to the temple of the mysterious Ra’s Al Gaul (Ken Wannabee). He tells Wayne that Gaul can help him overcome his fear of bats, and the guilt he feels about the death of his parents.

Gaul is the leader of the League of Shadows whose mission is to destroy Gotham. To do this they use Wayne Industry’s technology, and a poison created by Dr. Crane a.k.a. The Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) that causes its victims to have hallucinations and panic attacks.

Unfortunately for the villains, Batman has some tricks up his sleeves, and some help from Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) who provides him with the gear, and the cool tank like car that he drives in the movie.

Diehard fans will love Warner Brothers latest attempt to revive the Batman franchise, after the failure that was Batman & Robin. This is the coolest Batman film since Batman Forever, which like this one had a great cast. Batman Begins is a thriller that will leave you the edge of your seat.

I give this movie an 8 out of 10

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far (scores out of 10)
Robots 8
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 7
Cinderella Man 7

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2005-12-20T14:12:00.000-05:00

There are many similarities and differences between the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the old one. Both tell the story of a poor boy named Charlie Bucket, who lives in an old run down house with his parents and four grandparents who spend most of their time in bed. Charlie’s life changes when finds a golden ticket in his Wonka Bar.

Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp) closed his factory because too many spies were stealing his secret recipes. Fifteen years later he decides to place a golden ticket into five random Wonka Bars. The five lucky kids who find these tickets get to take the family member of their choice with them on a tour of the factory.

Depp’s version of Willy Wonka could easily be mistaken for Michael Jackson, because of the extremely pale skin, and the unusual clothes he wears. During the tour he
experiences flashbacks to his childhood. His father’s a dentist who never allowed Willy to eat candy. So Willy decides to leave home, and eventually opens the world’s largest candy factory.

The funniest part of the whole movie is when the Oompa Loompas perform their song and dance number after each of the unfortunate events that occur during the tour. These are the only songs in this film, which is a sharp contrast to the 1971 adaptation of the book, which was more like a Broadway musical.

The whole purpose of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is to teach children two lessons: 1. If you don’t follow the rules, then you suffer the consequences of your actions. Of course in real life those consequences don’t include: being sucked up into a pipe, turning into a giant blueberry, being dragged into a garbage shoot, or being shrunk down to the size of an ant after teleporting yourself into a television.
2. Your family is the most important thing you’ll ever have.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far (scores out of 10)
Robots 8
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 7
Cinderella Man 7
Batman Begins 8
War of the Worlds 7

Corpse Bride vs. Wallace & Gromit

2005-10-21T10:24:00.000-04:00

Battle of the claymation movies:
Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride vs. Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Ware-Rabbit
This fall two movies, which use a combination of stop motion animation, and digital photography and editing have been released. Comparing Corpse Bride and Wallace and Gromit isn’t a matter of comparing apples to oranges. Its more like trying to compare a colorful bowl of salad to a bowl of Cream of Wheat. No matter how much sugar, cinnamon, or fruit you add to it, its still as bland as it was before.
To realize this all the viewer has to is look at the characters and their environment. While Wallace and Gromit live in a town where they are well respected members of society, due to the success of their Anti-Pesto security company which uses humane methods to capture troublesome rabbits.
In the movie Corpse Bride, Victor resides in a city that is a sharp contrast to the world of the cheese loving inventor and his dog. Its drab and full of characters that look like they could have been in an episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, which, was a popular British TV show during the 1970s, and was known for it creative animation sequences.

The plots in both films are fairly simple. In The Curse of the Ware-Rabbit puts a new twists on the ware-wolf story when Wallace’s mind alteration machine goes crazy, and causes him to change into a vegetable devouring monster, and one the of the rabbits into him.

In Corpse Bride Victor is forced to marry a girl, but forgets his vows. So he decides to practice them while walking in the woods, and ends up being pulled down into the underworld by the Corpse Bride. The underworld is a more lively place then where he lives, but Victor longs to return to his home. It seems like in every movie, or book that involves one or more characters being transported to another time, place, etc. They just want to go home. Its all been done before.

Music plays an important role in both films. While watching Corpse Bride I hoped that some of the songs would be as funny as the songs in other Burton films such as The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. However, with the exception of one song they were more of the annoying Disney variety. Which made me wonder why Disney didn’t distribute this film.

There’s no singing in The Curse of the Ware-Rabbit, which made it more enjoyable. In the scenes where there isn’t any dialogue the music guides the viewer through them while changing at the appropriate times.

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Ware-Rabbit clearly wins this battle with its vibrant characters, and the fact that it appeals to both children and grownups. Fans of the short films, Chicken Run, and British comedy will love it. Corpse Bride, on the other hand will probably be too scary for some young children. If you like clay animation then you should definitely check out both of these movies, and decide for yourself which one is better.

I give Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Ware-Rabbit an 8 out of 10, and Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride a 6 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far (scores out of 10):
Robots 8
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith 7
Cinderella Man 7
Batman Begins 8
War of the Worlds 7
Four Brothers 8