Cowabunga dudes! The turtles are back in theaters in an animated movie. The movie begins with a story about a general who finds a portal, which makes him immortal. However it also unleashes thirteen monsters, and turns his army to stone. Three thousand years later Leo goes to South America to help protect a village from a gang of thieves. Eventually April finds him, and convinces him come back to New York City, because his family is falling apart.
To make matters worse a billionaire named Max Winters wants to bring four statues to life, so that they and the Foot Clan can capture the monsters. Now Leo must get the family back together in order to save the world. That won't be easy considering the fact that Raph has become the Night Watcher, and has taken the law into his own hands. The movie can be fun to watch, if you can follow the plot, which doesn't make any sense.
I have to admit that I didn't have very high expectations for this movie, considering how bad Ninja Turtles III was. I was surprised by the fact that I liked the movie. It brought back a lot of memories from my childhood. The ending makes me wonder if there will be a sequel. I would hope so, because maybe Shredder will come back. It would also be nice to finally see Bebop, Rock Steady, Krane, and other villains from the cartoons and video games in a Ninja Turtles movie even if it is CG.
Like the third movie this one does have some really corny lines. For example at one point in the movie Mike says "Did anyone get the licence plate of the thing that hit us last night?" Then he says to Leo "It looked like your mom dude!" Those have got to be the dumbest lines ever. TMNT isn't as good as the first Ninja Turtles movie, but it's defiantly better than the third. The only things that keep it for getting a perfect score are the convoluted plot and the corny dialogue.
I give this movie a 7 out of 10.
How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F
This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Movies That Suck: Underworld
For four years I've tried to repress the memories I've had of this horrible movie.
Since I put it in my Top 10 Least Favorite Movies list, I might as well tell you why I hate Underworld. I'm not a big fan of vampire movies, but I've seen Blade and Van Helsing, and those two movies are hundreds of times better than Underworld.
There are three ways to tell that a movie really sucks.
I call them the 3 sins of bad movies:
Sin #1: Bad plot
Sin #2: Bad acting
Sin #3: Bad dialogue
Underworld is guilty of all three of these sins.
This movie is about a battle between the vampires and the werewolves that has been raging for centuries. Some of the werewolves after a human named Micheal, and the vampire named Selene has decided to protect him from them. The plot sounds simple, but there is no clear indication of why the war has lasted for so long. After seeing Ghost Rider, it's sad to think how much these movies have in common.
Like in Ghost Rider, the acting and dialogue in Underworld are among the worst ever in a movie. It doesn't matter how good the actors are, even the best actors in Hollywood couldn't save this awful flick. The characters are stiff and emotionless, and it seemed like the script had been written by someone obsessed with role playing games, and vampire movies. The film itself seems like it was rushed into production.
The worst part about Underworld is that it's a blatant rip off of The Matrix. Just substitute the humans with vampires, and the machines with werewolves. The fight scenes, and costumes look very similar. While many films have tried to copy The Matrix, this one fails miserably.
It's hard to believe that there's a sequel to this movie, and there are rumors that a third one is in the works. If your a fan a vampire movies, you'd be better off watching the Blade trilogy. Don't waste you time with this uninspired pile of garbage.
Since I put it in my Top 10 Least Favorite Movies list, I might as well tell you why I hate Underworld. I'm not a big fan of vampire movies, but I've seen Blade and Van Helsing, and those two movies are hundreds of times better than Underworld.
There are three ways to tell that a movie really sucks.
I call them the 3 sins of bad movies:
Sin #1: Bad plot
Sin #2: Bad acting
Sin #3: Bad dialogue
Underworld is guilty of all three of these sins.
This movie is about a battle between the vampires and the werewolves that has been raging for centuries. Some of the werewolves after a human named Micheal, and the vampire named Selene has decided to protect him from them. The plot sounds simple, but there is no clear indication of why the war has lasted for so long. After seeing Ghost Rider, it's sad to think how much these movies have in common.
Like in Ghost Rider, the acting and dialogue in Underworld are among the worst ever in a movie. It doesn't matter how good the actors are, even the best actors in Hollywood couldn't save this awful flick. The characters are stiff and emotionless, and it seemed like the script had been written by someone obsessed with role playing games, and vampire movies. The film itself seems like it was rushed into production.
The worst part about Underworld is that it's a blatant rip off of The Matrix. Just substitute the humans with vampires, and the machines with werewolves. The fight scenes, and costumes look very similar. While many films have tried to copy The Matrix, this one fails miserably.
It's hard to believe that there's a sequel to this movie, and there are rumors that a third one is in the works. If your a fan a vampire movies, you'd be better off watching the Blade trilogy. Don't waste you time with this uninspired pile of garbage.
Monday, March 12, 2007
300
What do you get when you cross Lord of the Rings with Troy? You get 300. This movie is loosely based on an historic battle between the Spartans and the Persians. Even though the Spartans were clearly outnumbered, their king Leonidas believed that his army could win. However, in order to go to war Leonidas must defy the Gods, and the senate. He does this, because he doesn't want Greece to fall into the hands of Xerxes.
During the battle there are all kinds of strange creatures that reminded me of the Lord of the Rings movies. There's a hunchback who reminded me of Gollum, because he claims that he can help the heroes but then he betrays them. There are also a giant Rhino, and giant Elephants. There are other creatures such as a wolf and a giant.
Like in the movie Troy the battle sequences in 300 are epic. The only difference is that fact that the film makers weren't afraid to show blood. During the battles a lot of blood and limbs fly everywhere, and arrows fall down like rain. If your the kind of person who cringes and the sight of blood, you shouldn't see this movie. There's a reason why it's rated R.
If you enjoyed Gladiator, Troy, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy then you'll want to see 300. If your looking for historical accuracy then 300 is not the movie for you. It's based a graphic novel so you should realize that most of the events that take place are fictional. 300 is one of the best movies of 2007 so far.
I give this movie an 8 out of 10.
How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F
This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
During the battle there are all kinds of strange creatures that reminded me of the Lord of the Rings movies. There's a hunchback who reminded me of Gollum, because he claims that he can help the heroes but then he betrays them. There are also a giant Rhino, and giant Elephants. There are other creatures such as a wolf and a giant.
Like in the movie Troy the battle sequences in 300 are epic. The only difference is that fact that the film makers weren't afraid to show blood. During the battles a lot of blood and limbs fly everywhere, and arrows fall down like rain. If your the kind of person who cringes and the sight of blood, you shouldn't see this movie. There's a reason why it's rated R.
If you enjoyed Gladiator, Troy, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy then you'll want to see 300. If your looking for historical accuracy then 300 is not the movie for you. It's based a graphic novel so you should realize that most of the events that take place are fictional. 300 is one of the best movies of 2007 so far.
I give this movie an 8 out of 10.
How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F
This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
Friday, March 09, 2007
Movies That Suck: Battlefield Earth
In my opinion Battlefield Earth is the worst movie ever made. That's why I gave it a 1 out of 10 when I ranked my Top 10 Least Favorite Movies.
Why is this film such as piece of junk? Well if you saw Ghost Rider and thought the dialogue in that movie was bad, the dialogue in Battlefield Earth is one hundred times worse. The plot isn't much better. John Travolta plays the leader of a race of aliens known as the Psychlos. These aliens have enslaved humans, and have forced them to mine gold. Unfortunately for them one of the slaves has decided to rebel. Instead of destroying the rebel the head Psychlo decides to teach it the language of his home world. How dumb can he be? Pretty dumb considering the fact that he also allows the human into the library of knowledge. I thought aliens were supposed to be intelligent not stupid.
So as you might guess there is a battle between the Psychlos and the humans and of course the humans win. Now normally I don't give away the endings to movies, but this one is so awful I'll make an exception. I want to spare as many people from seeing this senseless waste of talent, and money as possible. This movie is proof of why John Travola's acting career has gone down hill recently. He hasn't been in a decent movie since he starred in Battlefield Earth. It's a shame what one bad movie can do to a good actor.
Do yourself a favor and don't watch this horrible movie ever.
Why is this film such as piece of junk? Well if you saw Ghost Rider and thought the dialogue in that movie was bad, the dialogue in Battlefield Earth is one hundred times worse. The plot isn't much better. John Travolta plays the leader of a race of aliens known as the Psychlos. These aliens have enslaved humans, and have forced them to mine gold. Unfortunately for them one of the slaves has decided to rebel. Instead of destroying the rebel the head Psychlo decides to teach it the language of his home world. How dumb can he be? Pretty dumb considering the fact that he also allows the human into the library of knowledge. I thought aliens were supposed to be intelligent not stupid.
So as you might guess there is a battle between the Psychlos and the humans and of course the humans win. Now normally I don't give away the endings to movies, but this one is so awful I'll make an exception. I want to spare as many people from seeing this senseless waste of talent, and money as possible. This movie is proof of why John Travola's acting career has gone down hill recently. He hasn't been in a decent movie since he starred in Battlefield Earth. It's a shame what one bad movie can do to a good actor.
Do yourself a favor and don't watch this horrible movie ever.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Movies That Suck: Super Mario Bros. The Movie
As a kid I enjoyed playing the Super Mario Bros. games. So when I fond out about the movie I was excited. I thought that this movie would be just like the games, but I was wrong. This movie is the reason why I hate all movies based on video games. Why does Hollywood think its a good idea to turn video games into movies? I don't know.
The plot doesn't make any sense at all. The world has been split into two dimensions. One ruled by humans, and the other is ruled by King Koopa. King Koopa captures Princess Daisy, and its up to Mario and Luigi to save her. Princess Daisy has a crystal that has the power to merge the two worlds together, and if King Koopa gets his hands on it he can rule both dimensions.
Most of the characters in the film have the look and personality that matches the characters from the game. However King Koopa looks more human than reptile, and the goombas are really ugly. They also look nothing like the goombas in the games, they have really tiny heads. The goombas are created by King Koopa's de-evolution device. Yoshi also makes an appearance, but he too doesn't look anything like his video game version.
It's unfortunate to think that this pile of junk paved the way for other really bad movies based on video games. Mario Bros. fans should be glad that the movie didn't destroy the franchise, and the fact that there will never be a sequel.
The plot doesn't make any sense at all. The world has been split into two dimensions. One ruled by humans, and the other is ruled by King Koopa. King Koopa captures Princess Daisy, and its up to Mario and Luigi to save her. Princess Daisy has a crystal that has the power to merge the two worlds together, and if King Koopa gets his hands on it he can rule both dimensions.
Most of the characters in the film have the look and personality that matches the characters from the game. However King Koopa looks more human than reptile, and the goombas are really ugly. They also look nothing like the goombas in the games, they have really tiny heads. The goombas are created by King Koopa's de-evolution device. Yoshi also makes an appearance, but he too doesn't look anything like his video game version.
It's unfortunate to think that this pile of junk paved the way for other really bad movies based on video games. Mario Bros. fans should be glad that the movie didn't destroy the franchise, and the fact that there will never be a sequel.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Ghost Rider
I really wanted to like this movie. Unfortunately, it's yet another action film that chooses style over substance. All the awesome computer generated effects in Ghost Rider can't make up for the poor acting, and crappy dialogue. While video games are starting to resemble movies, this movie resembles a really bad video game.
What makes matters worse is the actors. Nicholas Cage plays the main character Johnny Blaze. I've never been a big fan of Cage, because he shows no emotion what so ever in practically every movie he's in. This one is no exception. His character is about as lively as Neo in the Matrix trilogy. The other actors are just as bland as Cage. At times I couldn't help but wonder who wrote the script, because the dialogue in Ghost Rider is about as bad as the dialogue in Star Wars Episode II.
The only good thing about Ghost Rider is the effects. It's cool to see all the flames shooting out of Ghost Rider and his bike, the wind and water effects were also really fun to watch. However, some of time the visuals looked more like they belonged in a video game than a movie, which would have been great if the movie had been animated rather than live action.
I won't give away too much of the plot. It's not much better than the rest of the movie. Johnny's father, a daredevil motorcycle rider has cancer, and Johnny who is also a daredevil makes a deal with the Devil. The Devil will cure Johnny's father, but Johnny must give the Devil his soul. When he does Johnny becomes the Ghost Rider. The Ghost Rider is the Devil's bounty hunter, and must destroy creatures who have escaped from hell. The movie also mentions something about a contract, but I won't go into too much detail about that, because I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who wants to see it.
Ghost Rider isn't a really bad super hero movie, but its not a really great one either. It's better than The Hulk, but its not as good as The Punisher or X-Men III. If you're a fan of super hero movies then you should see Ghost Rider. If not then you shouldn't see it, because it will be a big waste of your time and money.
I give this movie a 4 out of 10.
How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F
What makes matters worse is the actors. Nicholas Cage plays the main character Johnny Blaze. I've never been a big fan of Cage, because he shows no emotion what so ever in practically every movie he's in. This one is no exception. His character is about as lively as Neo in the Matrix trilogy. The other actors are just as bland as Cage. At times I couldn't help but wonder who wrote the script, because the dialogue in Ghost Rider is about as bad as the dialogue in Star Wars Episode II.
The only good thing about Ghost Rider is the effects. It's cool to see all the flames shooting out of Ghost Rider and his bike, the wind and water effects were also really fun to watch. However, some of time the visuals looked more like they belonged in a video game than a movie, which would have been great if the movie had been animated rather than live action.
I won't give away too much of the plot. It's not much better than the rest of the movie. Johnny's father, a daredevil motorcycle rider has cancer, and Johnny who is also a daredevil makes a deal with the Devil. The Devil will cure Johnny's father, but Johnny must give the Devil his soul. When he does Johnny becomes the Ghost Rider. The Ghost Rider is the Devil's bounty hunter, and must destroy creatures who have escaped from hell. The movie also mentions something about a contract, but I won't go into too much detail about that, because I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who wants to see it.
Ghost Rider isn't a really bad super hero movie, but its not a really great one either. It's better than The Hulk, but its not as good as The Punisher or X-Men III. If you're a fan of super hero movies then you should see Ghost Rider. If not then you shouldn't see it, because it will be a big waste of your time and money.
I give this movie a 4 out of 10.
How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F
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