Shrek the Third

After he married Princess Fiona, the last thing Shrek expected was becoming the king of Far Far Away. He receives the news from the frog king Harold while is on his death bed. Shrek doesn't want to be the ruler of Far Far Away, and asks the king if there is another person who could take the thrown. The king mentions a young boy named Arthur.

Before Shrek, Donkey, and Puss set out on their adventure Fiona tells Shrek that she's pregnant. That night Shrek has a nightmare in which he's surrounded by babies. The trio eventually meet Arthur, and the wizard Merlin. One of the funniest parts in the movie is when Merlin's spell cause Donkey and Puss to switch bodies.

Meanwhile, the evil Prince Charming has returned to Far Far Away with a gang of fairy tale villains. The villains manage to take over Far Far Away and capture Fiona, the queen, and other fairy tale princesses. Can the kingdom be saved before its too late?
You'll have to see the movie to find out.

The first Shrek movie was funny, because it turned the world of fairy tales on its head. Shrek 2 wasn't as good, but it did add some interesting characters such as Puss 'n Boots, Prince Charming, and the Fairy Godmother. Shrek the Third does have some hilarious moments, but it feels more like a morality tale about the importance of friends and family.

The franchise isn't dead yet, but it does seem to be getting a little stale. Shrek the Third is better than Shrek 2, but the first Shrek movie is still the best. Here's hoping that Shrek 4 can breath some life into this franchise before it sinks.

I give this movie a 7 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5
28 Weeks Later 4

28 Weeks Later

28 Weeks Later is guilty of three sins of bad movies. Its plot is horrible. During the beginning I couldn't help think why the guy running away from the zombies leaves his wife in the house he's running away from. When his children leave to find their mother I don't why he doesn't try to stop them. The rest of the plot is just as confusing.

The acting and the dialogue aren't much better. Most of the actors are just as stiff as the zombies, and the dialogue is awful. This movies is better suited for an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, or a direct to DVD release. That's how bad it is. To make matters worse for every minute of action there's several minuets of boredom.

Shawn of the Dead my have been a comedy but its a better zombie movie than this. At least Shawn of the Dead had more suspense, drama, and action than 28 Weeks Later. Sadly this is yet another flick that relays heavily on effects. The effect are awesome, but they can't make up for the bad plot, acting, and dialogue. I haven't seen 28 Days Later, but I hope that its better than the sequel. The ending leaves an opening for a third movie, and I hope there isn't one.

I give this movie a 4 out of 10.

How the rating system works:
10-9=A
8-7= B
6-5= C
4-3= D
2-0= F

This year so far
Scores out of 10
Ghost Rider 4
300 8
TMNT 7
Fracture 5

Movies That Suck: The Order

Every once in a while there's a movie that should have been a direct to DVD release. The Order is one of those movies. The plot centers around the death of the head of a religious order know as the Carolingians. The creature responsible for his death is known as a Sin Eater. This creature sucks the sins out of its victims, so that they can enter heaven.

Alex Bernler (Heath Ledger) is sent to investigate this mysterious death. Alex is one of the last living members of the Carolingian order. Joining him on his mission is a painter named Mara, and Father Thomas Garrett. I don't know how Alex can trust Mara after she tried to kill him during an exorcism. I won't even bother explaining the rest of the plot, because it doesn't make sense, and either do the actors or the dialogue.

Like The Passion of the Christ and The Da Vinci Code, The Order was criticized by the Catholic church. However, unlike The Passion of the Christ, and The Da Vinci Code, The Order was a dud at the box office.

The Order deserves to be in the cheap DVD bin with all the other bad movies. It's one the least suspenseful, and most boring films I've ever seen. It has all the hallmarks of a crappy, poorly made piece of trash that should have been burned. I'd rather watch the the Exorcist, because at least that movie had some scary moments in it. The Order is a horrible abomination that must be exorcised.

Summer Movie Preview

Here's a preview of the movies coming to theaters this summer.
*-Movies I'll be reviewing

May
4th
Spider-Man 3
Lucky You
11th
28 Weeks Later*
Delta Farce
Georgia Rule
18th
Shrek the Third*
25th
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Bug

June
1st
Knocked Up
Mr. Brooks
8th
Hostel: Part 2
Ocean's Thirteen*
Surf's Up
15th
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Nancy Drew
22nd
1408
A Mighty Heart
Evan Almighty
You Kill Me
27th
Live Free or Die Hard*
29th
Death at A Funeral
Ratatouille

July
3rd
Transformers*
License to Wed
11th
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix*
13th
Captivity
20th
Hairspray
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Sunshine
27th
I Know Who Killed Me
No Reservations
The Simpsons Movie*
Skinwalkers
Who's Your Caddy?

August
3rd
Bratz
Charlie Bartlet
El Cantante
Hot Rod
The Bourne Ultimatum*
Underdog
8th
Daddy Day Camp
10th
Rush Hour 3
Stardust
17th
Penelope
Superbad
The Invasion
The Last Legion
24th
Illegal Tender
Mr. Bean's Holiday*
Resurrecting the Champ
September Dawn
The Nanny Diaries
War
31st
Balls of Fury
Death Sentence
Halloween*


You can find out more info about these movies in
Yahoo! Movies Summer Movie Guide